There Is No Good Card For This provides the perfect plan for comforting our suffering loved ones

There Is No Good Card For This: What to Say and Do When Life is Scary, Awful and Unfair to People You Love

By Kelsey Crowe, Ph.D and Emily McDowell (HarperOne, $25.99)

Don’t be fooled by what might be 2017’s longest book title. There Is No Good Card For This is one of this year’s most useful, uplifting volumes.

Two empathy visionaries make this book sparkle. Dr. Kelsey Crowe founded “Help Each Other Out,” an organization famed for its “Empathy Boot Camps.” She teams with Emily McDowell, an author-artist who fought Hodgkin’s lymphoma at age 24. McDowell created “Empathy Cards,” beautiful (often funny!) greeting cards that bring support to those facing death, disease, divorce and other emotional roller-coasters.

Their book begins with one huge lesson for those afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing to someone suffering. “If you’re choosing between saying something and saying nothing, you’re almost always better off saying something.”

In other words, an ill or bereaved person may deem you more insensitive for quietly disappearing and avoiding an uncomfortable issue. Those who show up and sincerely try, are the role models the authors tout. Simply saying “I’m sorry” may work wonders, they note.

This book’s sound advice is wrapped in McDowell’s charming illustrations. Her calligraphy of empathy ideas transforms the book with the feel of a personal letter from the artist.

How about those meddling do-gooders, when their so-called caring does more harm than good? Who wants to be those guys? The authors define the two fingernails-on-chalkboard types as the “foister” or the “fretter.”

The foisters rush into a situation, slinging unrequested advice and unwanted gestures. Fretters are worriers, grabbing all attention away from the afflicted party. Why didn’t the ill person return a phone call? Are they worse? (No. they may just be busy, tired or sad, especially after all the non-stop attention.)

Crowe and McDowell crash through myths and misconceptions, such as “Three Empathy Roadblocks.” Some of us fear saying, or doing, the wrong thing at the wrong time. Others are afraid they have no time. The authors urge us to be honest and authentic with ourselves in difficult situations, instead of expecting perfection.

I’d compare these empathy advocates to Doctor Phil (if he was double-parked with the motor running.) For instance, Crowe and McDowell underscore the importance of empathic listening with the subtitle “Learning to Shut Up.” Bullseye!

Most valuable in this book are cheat-sheet actionable details. The authors created lists of “Go-To Phrases.” For potentially good or bad comments, the two categories are compared in two columns: “Instead of This” and “Try This.”

Scenario encounters allow readers to see social missteps unfold. “Seeing It In Action” provides a post-game recap of what was good (or what could have been done better).

This book is a keeper. Clergy would benefit from observing the straightforward, non-denominational kindness the authors demonstrate. In fact, There Is No Good Card For This is a book anyone can use, share and enjoy. Even in what seems like’s worst times, all of us have the power to make a difference.

 

 

Writers: Do you count your failures, or your hits?

Ted Williams, seen on this 1948 Leaf card, set a batting average record in 1941. Nevertheless, he failed more than he succeeded.

Ted Williams, seen on this 1948 Leaf card, set a batting average record in 1941. Nevertheless, he failed more than he succeeded.

Ted Williams batted .406 in 1941, the last hitter to exceed the amazing .400 mark for an entire season.

No one tarnishes this bit of history by noting Williams made an out more than half the time. Translated: he failed more than he succeeded.

In your queries, proposals and submissions, which do you count?

That next writing project idea may be in your hands right now

(Photo credit: Jurii/Wikimedia commons)

(Photo credit: Jurii/Wikimedia commons)

You don’t need mentoring.

You don’t need to attend a writing conference.

If you want a clue as to what genre you should be writing, just look at yourself.

Is there a backpack or library bookbag near? Go peek in that. I’ll wait.

Welcome back.

Did you find fiction or non-fiction? How about the age range and reading level?

Stop trying to guess what the market wants. Decide what YOU want.

If you don’t want to read the published cousin of what you’re writing, why should you expect us to?

Authors, want to know publishing? Local FREE experts await!

No one knows readers better than a librarian. (Photo credit: Ned Horton/Free Images.com)

No one knows readers better than a librarian. (Photo credit: Ned Horton/Free Images.com)

Not conference presenters.

Not self-help book authors.

If you want to know what readers are reading, ask a public librarian. These overlooked experts review pre-publication editions. They are resources for “coming soon” news.

A children’s librarian knows what kids, parents and teachers are seeking.

Other public librarians know what the book club members crave.

Library staff devour reviews. They compare notes with other librarians across the nation.

Try them. The price is right!

 

How This Book Was Made: A Picture Book Not Just for Kids

how-this-book-was-made-barnettHow This Book was Made: A True Story is sneaky, subversive fun.

Children may prefer illustrator Adam Rex’s story-within-a-story artwork. While kids might simply see a queen dining on a veranda, adults will read between of the lines as author Mac Barnett describes his New York City editor. “She is like a teacher, only she works in a skyscraper and is always eating fancy lunches.”

After all, as Barnett claims he wrote 21 drafts of his children’s book, adults will remember the subtitle promise that this is a true story.

How true? Adults will guffaw over Rex portraying himself as a leisurely illustrator who needed frequent naps before completing his assignment. Rex packs each page with action, showing a multitude of characters (including King Kong and Ben Franklin) who enjoy cameos in the behind-the-scenes hilarity.

Children who stay tuned for the entire book won’t be disappointed. It turned out THEY are the true stars. How? Barnett reminds us that “…a book still isn’t a book, not really, until it has a reader.”

Published authors and illustrators will giggle over their “been there, done that” reaction to How This book Was Made.

Just be ready to explain your inside-joke laughs with the kids you’re sharing this fun title with!

See for yourself with the book’s official trailer!

Non-fiction book proposal formulas revealed by agent

nonfictionbookproposalcoverThe Literary Agent’s Guide to Writing A Non-fiction Book Proposal (e-book, $3.99) delivers on its title. Author (and agent) Andy Ross offers a handy step-by-step roadmap in creating what he describes as your book’s business plan.

This game plan is more than the proposal. Ross starts by addressing the need for a persuasive query letter to an agent. Why should the agent represent you and your book proposal?

Ross notes that the most popular subject he teaches at writing conference is query letters. His top complaint about bad query letters? They’re too long.

One tip the author dishes is to avoid “sucking up.” he doesn’t want query writers to waste time talking about an agent’s list, or life. For Ross, some writers want to praise him on Cody’s, his bookstore for years. “Don’t waste words with your query,” he warns.

Once an agent is willing to read your book proposal, Ross advocates fast action. Don’t wait a month to send the requested proposal. From prescribing 12 point Times New Roman font to telling you which sample chapter to include, Ross reveals all.

The greatest strength of this book comes from actual proposals he’s used to sell books for clients. The only time Ross strays from the path is when he includes an imagined query for War and Peace from author Tolstoy.

Ross may not be an author who’ll create legions of starry-eyed readers. He mentions that he gets 10 to 20 query letters a day, only to choose 10 to 20 projects to represent in a given year. “We have become the gatekeepers of book publishing,” he writes. “We filter out the bad stuff, and only deliver the best quality projects for publishers to evaluate.”

Nonetheless, such a clear, level-headed attitude means Ross is the right pick for non-fiction authors wanting a good strategy before they battle for publication.

 

One writerly lesson from Susan Quiet Cain

quiet coverI was delighted to see a sequel (of sorts) to Susain Cain’s Quiet.

This new book (Quiet Power) brings hope and insight to younger readers. A voice for the voiceless, once again.

Seeing Cain’s “Quiet Revolution” website proves that she’s not done yet.

For frustrated writers or authors feeling invisible, let me share two writing lessons I’ve gotten from Cain’s success:

  1. Be sincere.
  2. Be consistent.

How many books are abandoned even before a first draft gets finished? There are readers who can relate to any theme, provided that the whole literary meal is on the table.

Pick a path. Stick to it. If you don’t believe, neither will the reader.